Inquiry: From Forgiveness To Spirituality

Something had to change. The physical pain, the mental stress and tension that caused it and the fact that something was holding me back from reaching my goals. What was it? Were they all connected? 

I'd already done a lot of limiting belief indentification, but even so I still felt stuck. Like I couldn't evolve into the person I wanted to be. So, while talking at a relaxed networking event one evening, I had one of the best conversations I'd had in a while.  This inspiring entrepreneur suggested that I should practice more forgiveness for someone in my past. Talking with this person I realised that even if it wasn't forgiveness that I needed, I really needed to find out and face whatever it was that was holding me back. I wanted to reach that inspired place of limitless possibilities, which Joe Vitale talks about, so that I could make strides on my own entrepreneurial path.

I'd already done a significant amount of work on the topic of forgiveness, but I figured it couldn't hurt to revisit it. So I started my inquiry. 

This conversation had already highlighted for me that fact that I'd compartmentalised my forgiveness. I'd forgiven what had happened to me, but not what had happened to someone else. Whenever I thought about what had happened to that other person I became angry and agitated. 

First, I decided to re-educate myself on the topic of forgiveness, so I watched some Ted Talks on the subject, took some notes, and realised that forgiveness wasn't something that could be given for something done to someone else. I could only forgive things that had happened to me. How did what had happened to this person affect me? At this point I really couldn't see how forgiveness would help get rid of my stress. 

So, I took another suggestion I'd used before which is known as "the empty chair technique". However  instead of talking to the chair I wrote a letter to the chair. I find writing to be a very effective way of processing my thoughts, especially when I'm stuck, as I can see how my train of thoughts evolve. 

I started by acknowleding the pain I was suffering in the now as a result of what happened in the past, and it included the part with the compartmentalised forgiveness. I ended up making a whole list of the limiting beliefs I have as a result of my dysfunctional childhood. Then, as I've learned from multiple sources, I honored the fact that I need to take responsibility for it all. Yes, these things happened through no fault of my own, but now I'm a grown woman I can't expect anyone else to come along and change my life. I need to accept these parts of me, these negative, unhelpful beliefs and reframe them. 

I realised after I'd written it all down that this list probably held the key to my physical pain and the inability to ascend to the next level of my own personal enlightenment. So I started using Ho'opono pono to clear it all, and then I took those negative beliefs and turned them all around in the style of "The Work". I wrote the exact opposite of what my beliefs were which created a more positive perspective that I could agree with more. It was an interesting and very freeing exercise. 

Of course I will need to revisit this piece of journaling often. Meditate on it and probe for any new insights if I feel necessary, rinse and repeat, but it's a good start. 

I finished by asking myself the 4th question from "The Work" which is: "who would I be without all those beliefs?" 

I'd be more grounded, calm and sure of myself. I'd therefore have a greater sense of self-esteem and confidence. I'd probably take more action towards my goals. This question and the positive turned around paragraphs I'd written also really helped me to visualise what kind of person I really want to be. In fact, I could even do a visualisation of meeting my future self and make it even more real and reachable. Here I go...!

Sources: 

Ted Talk: The Real Risk of Forgiveness